Miscellaneous

ABBA Dabbba Do

Is Interstate 35 between Austin and Dallas the worst highway driving experience known to man?  I mean, if it weren't for a stop at the Mile 353 marker for some kolaches I don't know if the drive could be completed with any sense of well being.  Is it just me, or does this highway induce dozing off more than any interstate in America?  I realize there are a lot of wacky tobacky remnants in the air compliments of Willy near Carl's Corner and Abbot, but that can't be the only reason. Anyway, as promised, the first item of the day will be a discussion of Abba and Townes Van Zandt.  I rediscovered ABBAafter purchasing a CD of their greatest hits at one of those stops on I-35.  I later realized the appropriateness of that purchase as I found the exact same album on a cassette I bought about 20 years ago.  ABBA was/were great.  I totally underappreciated them when they were current. but what is it withe the two guys?  I don't pick up any positive contribution from them on any of the cuts.  My favorite song is Fernando, and that's where I need your help.  It's obviously a song about Mexicans and gunfire and a battle and an escape across the Rio Grande.  My questions are these.

1.  In the song, is a girl singing to a guy, or is it a guy singing to his old friend, Fernando?.

2.  Does the battle being sung about occur during the Mexican/American War?  Tough question because I don't think Mexico ever crossed the Rio Grande for a battle in that war.

3.  Is Fernando a hero or a deserter?  In other words, did he cross the Rio grande to avoid a battle?

4.  Is it not about the Mexican/Amarecan war at all?  Is it really Townes Van Zandt channelling his great Pancho and Lefty song to ABBBA, which would make Fernando-Pancho/Lefty?

5.  Is it about something else entirely

6.  Has anyone seen the play Mama Mia?  How was it?

Someone out there has got to help me out on this one because my usual primary source of useless information, The Big Hurt, is otherwise engaged this week.  Shout out to the Big Hurt.  That was a great wedding and what a nice family Shannon is bringing to the table in this match.

Moses should have stopped at a Waffle House

For those of you lfortunate enough to be able to dine at a Waffle House, please check out the "Waffle House Rules" posted on the door as you enter.  Only the great WH (ok maybe the Soup Nazi too) would have the cajones to set such unambiguous laws for their customers.  If Moses could have been as clear with his tablets, the world would have a lot more peace and a lot less lawyers.

Form should always follow function

Consider the bicycle.  What a beautiful piece of machinery...So simple in design and so effecient in use,it is probably the most perfect  invention ever created except for one hideous and yet eternally perpetuated flaw. 

First the perfection, Notice how the handle bars are perfectly designed both as to distance from the shoulders matching the length of the arms as well  circumfirence,  The circumfirence is in complete simpatico with the length of the fingers. Now, consider the pedals/the chain and the wheel relationship.  perfection... it's like the Almighty himself first designed the bike and then adjusted his plans for homo sapiens so that the two inventions would be in optimal allignment.  So simple, so perfect except for the bicycle seat.  The size of the bicycle seat has no relation at all to the size of  the ass of even the most fit human being.  A normal bicycle seat is about six inches byfive inches at its widest point.  Now take a look at your gluteous maximus.  Does it look in any way like any bike seat was designed to handle any ass you have had the pleasure of knowing?  How can every other part of this marvelous invention, the bicycle be so in tune with pertinent parts of the human user and the bicycle seat be so out of synch?   And in this creative society which we live in, how could this go on for so many centuries without correction?  If the same logic was followed in auto design the seats would only be six inches deep, not 20. Forget the Segway or the next great video game.  I challenge a budding genius among my blogaudience to design a "size proportional bicycle seat" and don't worry about it being too big.  I predict that such an invention would at least triple the number of bicycles sold and used in the world.  Physical fitness would rise.  Gas consuming vehicles would decline.  ( Danny, maybe I just discovered the answer to my own  question)Nevertheless, this idea has billionaire written all over it .

Now i want some response on this subject. not just the quick one liners so common in the comments I receive.  Sneaky Pete, you and damen are my bike advisory board.  What am I missing?.  Cully, let's ressurect your first San Fran concept.  I am BEHIND you all the way. that is all.

the   

Comments

[rainbow flyer]

Maybe Olie-O and Nod could actually place in one of the muddy buddy races with a bike seat that's big enough for the average sized gluteus maximus?

[rainbow flyer]

Maybe Olie-O and Nod could actually place in one of the muddy buddy races with a bike seat that's big enough for the average sized gluteus maximus?

[dirty di]

Funny thing...read this on the day we went six miles on the folding bikes we keep in the rv. Have even smaller seats and REALLY leave on sore. Please get to the 'bottom' of this soon.Do you think those fluffy woolly covers would help? This is serious stuff

[dirty di]

I have put out feelers to the one ABBA fan in our fam who also saw Mama Mia and will let you know when Fernando is explained.

[Chris F]

Am I the only one out here in the blogaudience that can't name a single ABBA song?...."Dancing Queen" maybe, I really don't know.

As for the bicycle seat question, I don't know what to say. I'm sure most bike riders (with the probable exception of Lance Armstrong) would give their left nut to solve the problem of bicycle seat discomfort. I'm picturing Commish's recliner with some tires and some sweet pegs - that'd be the way to cruise the Plano bike trail or even the Champs d'Elyse.

Actually Commish, the answer to your problem is sitting in your garage collecting dust right now. That beautiful recumbent bicycle you bought on a whim a few years back is equipped with a seat that could handle the likes of JLo or even Charles Barkley.

[doogie]

commish, good to see you blogging again.

chris, as always your comments are right on the money. when commish mentioned ABBA i went for my ipod and quickly realized i don't have a single ABBA song out of 25+ gigs of music.

re: the bicycle seat challenge, can anyone confirm if a bicycle with a 'banana' seat was more comfortable than the current iteration of bicycle seats? maybe it's time to bring back the banana seat...

[Big Hurt]

Commish-
It's much worse than you think. The traditional bicycle seat is bad news.

From the Web.
The conventional single-platform saddle is viewed as unhealthful as well as uncomfortable by some cyclists. Many articles appeared in bicycling periodicals criticizing the conventional seats asserting that their design could lead to sterility, impotence, and perhaps even testicular cancer.

There is, in fact, some concern that the conventional seat puts undue pressure on the perineum, the area between the rectum and the genitalia, perhaps causing blood flow to be restricted to the area during intensive biking exercise. This occurs because the artery near the perineum thickens as a natural defense mechanism, constricting the inside of the wall and reducing blood flow to the area. The reduction lasts far longer than the bicycle trip; it is asserted by some that impotency may be the result of the reduced blood flow.

As a result, there is a booming market for the non-conventional bicycle seat. These specialty seats are designed to take pressure off the perineum and distribute it broadly on the butt cheeks. This primarily entails eliminating the long horn with its curved spine on the front of the seat that makes contact with the perineum. Most of these unconventional seat manufacturers run small operations and have not yet penetrated the market significantly.

An alternative:
http://www.solutionbicycleseat.com/

[Chris F.]

Captain Clicky has done it again. Big Hurt's is the David Blaine of internet magic.

[Big Hurt]

If it's out there, I'll find it.

[dirtydi]

Maybe I should get a blog for commenting on movies I have seen, but here is my latest comment anyway, for you other Mick moviegoer: Run, don't walk, to see the new Scorsese movie. some succinct comments on growing up Irish that this mick really could identify with as well as super acting and over acting.